


you are the best thing that's ever been mine

by splendidlyimperfect



Series: i'm with them [42]
Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, Based on a Taylor Swift Song, Crying, Cuddling & Snuggling, Depression, Domestic Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Gray pretends he hates it but doesn't, I Made Myself Cry, I can't believe there's a tag for that, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Multi, Self-Esteem Issues, Singing, Sting sings lots of tswift, Tumblr: FTLGBTales, gratuitous use of music lyrics, me? projecting? more likely than you think, oh look i wrote depressed gray again, supportive boyfriends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-23
Updated: 2019-08-23
Packaged: 2020-09-24 13:20:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20359162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/splendidlyimperfect/pseuds/splendidlyimperfect
Summary: Gray's having a bad day, and Natsu's music choices are making it worse.





	you are the best thing that's ever been mine

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lastoneleft](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lastoneleft/gifts).

> Written for two anonymous tumblr asks - "truth hurts, doesn't it?" and "I wanted to apologize." (the quotes aren't used verbatim but the sentiment is there!) Also for @lastoneleft - sorry I turned your shitpost into sadness <3
> 
> Yes, it's depressed Gray again, he needs all the love and I just wanna keep giving it to him. Also this entire thing is just based on Taylor Swift songs sorry/notsorry XD
> 
> Title from [Mine](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XPBwXKgDTdE) by Taylor Swift
> 
> Find me on tumblr as [@splendidlyimperfect](https://splendidlyimperfect.tumblr.com/) or check out the OT4 blog at [@gratsustingue-the-ot4](https://gratsustingue-the-ot4.tumblr.com/)

Natsu kicks Rogue in the shin as the front door of the apartment opens.

“Shhh,” he whispers, pulling the duvet up over both of them. “He won’t sing if he thinks we’re awake.”

Rogue frowns at Natsu but closes his eyes, and Natsu tucks his arm under his pillow and settles into a pretend sleep.

The bedroom door creaks open and Natsu hears Sting step into the room, humming quietly under his breath. The smell of fresh laundry hits Natsu as Sting sets the basket down on the end of the bed, then starts to pull things out and fold them.

Rogue twitches next to Natsu and Sting stops humming momentarily, but when neither of them moves again, he picks it back up. It starts off as just a jumble of notes, but eventually he starts singing the words under his breath, and Natsu recognizes it as a Taylor Swift song that Sting’s particularly fond of.

Natsu can barely keep a smile from creeping across his face as Sting’s singing gets a bit louder. His voice isn’t entirely in key, but Natsu loves the way he sounds. It’s sweet and happy, and when Natsu hears Sting change one of the lines to fit Gray’s name in, Natsu nearly cries.

_Gray told me I was pretty when I looked like a mess_  
_today was a fairytale_  
_time slows down whenever he’s around_

When Natsu hears Sting move away from the bed he cracks an eye open, holding in a fond sigh as he watches Sting dance over toward the closet. Sting keeps humming and singing, switching to a new song as he hangs Rogue’s dress shirts.

_It must have been the way Rogue kissed me_  
_fell in love when I saw him standing there_

When he turns back to the bed Natsu barely closes his eyes in time, and Sting’s quiet for a second. Natsu tries his best to keep his breathing even – he’s had lots of practice with it. Sting only sings when he thinks everyone’s asleep or nobody is home, so Natsu sneaks in these moments whenever he can.

Eventually Sting grabs the rest of the laundry and starts tucking it into their dresser as he picks up with a new song.

_Well, he drives me crazy half the time_  
_the other half I’m only trying_  
_to let him know that what I feel is true_  
_and I’m only me when I’m with Natsu_

Natsu can’t help the tiny, adoring sound he makes when he hears his name, and Sting immediately stops singing. A balled-up sock hits Natsu on the side of the head and he pretends to grumble, opening his eyes and rubbing his face.

“Mornin’,” he says to Sting, sitting up and nudging Rogue, who also rolls over and fakes just having woken up. “What’cha doin’?”

“Your laundry,” Sting says, deftly catching the socks as Natsu tosses them back at him. “You really need to start checking your pockets for glitter before tossing stuff in the washing machine.” He holds out one of Gray’s dress sweaters that is now much more sparkly than it had been before laundry day.

“Oops.” Natsu makes a face.

“Where is Gray, anyway?” Rogue asks, kicking off the blankets and grabbing his phone off the end table.

“He left early for work,” Sting says, tucking the last of the shirts in the drawer and nudging it closed with his shin. He tosses the laundry basket back in the corner of the room and is about to head out into the kitchen when Natsu catches him by the wrist.

“C’mere,” Natsu says, tugging Sting toward him. He sits up on the edge of the bed and wraps his arms around Sting’s waist, resting his head on Sting’s stomach and kissing just above his bellybutton.

“What’s up?” Sting asks softly, brushing his fingers through Natsu’s hair. Natsu’s tempted to tell Sting that he wasn’t asleep, tell him that he’s sweet and perfect and Natsu would listen to him sing every day for the rest of his life. But Sting would turn pink and make excuses and stop humming sweet things for Natsu to wake up to every day.

“Nothin’,” Natsu says instead, sighing happily as Rogue leans against him and joins the embrace. “Just love you.”

* * *

Natsu’s still got Taylor Swift stuck in his head when he picks up Gray from work, so he flips to his favorite playlist while he’s waiting in the parking lot. They both work late today, so the streetlights are already on and are reflecting off the tiny drops of rain clinging to the windshield. The wipers move in time to the beat of the music, and Natsu taps the steering wheel as he hums along.

The passenger door finally opens nearly twenty minutes after Gray’s supposed to meet him. “Sorry,” Gray says, shaking the rain out of his hair and shooting Natsu an apologetic look. “I had to show Chad how to run the reports ‘cause Abby’s out of the office next week.”

“’s okay,” Natsu says, leaning over and kissing Gray’s cheek. “You hungry? Rogue just texted, he’s making chicken biryani for supper.”

Gray makes a noncommittal sound, tipping his head against the window as Natsu squeezes his hand, then puts the car into ‘drive’ and heads out of the parking lot. It’s not uncommon for Gray to be reserved after work – it takes him a lot longer than Natsu to decompress.

Natsu flicks on the blinker and merges onto the highway, taking the familiar route without thinking about it. The rain is louder now that they’re moving, and Natsu turns up the music so he can sing along.

“Why are you so obsessed with Taylor Swift?” Gray asks, leaning against the door and looking over at Natsu.

“I’m not!” Natsu insists. “Her music is just catchy.”

Gray rolls his eyes. “Her lyrics appeal to seventeen-year-old girls who just got dumped by their first boyfriend,” he says.

“The fact that you know that implies that you listen to her music just as much as I do,” Natsu says smugly, sticking his tongue out at Gray and turning the music up.

“I do not,” Gray mutters, crossing his arms over his chest. “It’s obnoxious. Can we please listen to something else?”

Natsu sighs but acquiesces, gesturing for Gray to pick another playlist. “I’m not listening to your boring history podcast, though,” he says. Gray _hmphs_ and switches to classical music, then settles back into his seat.

“Y’know what I think?” Natsu asks as the sound of piano music fills the car. Gray doesn’t answer. “I think you pretend not to like Taylor Swift ‘cause she makes you feel things and you hate it.” He grins and pokes Gray’s thigh.

“Shut up,” Gray grumbles, smacking Natsu’s hand away.

“Ooh,” Natsu teases, “truth hurts, doesn’t it?”

“Just drive the damn car,” Gray snaps, and suddenly there’s more than just exasperation in his voice. Natsu frowns, looking over at him, but Gray refuses to make eye contact.

“Hey,” Natsu starts, but Gray shakes his head.

“Sorry,” he says softly. “Let’s just go home.”

* * *

Walking into the apartment is always a whirlwind – kisses from Sting, plaintive meows from the cats trying to trick someone into feeding them a second time, Rogue reminding Natsu to put his shoes on the rack and not kick them in a pile by the door. By the time Natsu sits down at the kitchen table, he’s nearly forgotten the exchange in the car.

“Where’s Gray?” Rogue asks, frowning as he hands Natsu a plate.

“Bedroom,” Sting says around a mouthful of bread. “Said he had a headache and he’ll eat later.”

Natsu frowns, glancing down the hallway. “When’s the last time you guys saw him eat?” he asks.

Rogue pops back into the kitchen and opens the fridge, then looks back at Natsu, shaking his head. “He didn’t eat his lunch,” he says.

“He left so early this morning, I don’t think he had breakfast either,” Sting says, brow creasing in concern. “You think he’s getting sick?”

Natsu sighs. “Yeah,” he says, setting down the plate and pushing his chair away from the table. “I think he is.”

* * *

The bedroom is dark, and when Natsu turns on the lamp on the side table, there’s a grumbled protest from somewhere in the middle of the duvet. Natsu kicks off his jeans, then pulls the blanket back and shuffles under it until he’s close to Gray but not quite touching.

“Hey, you,” he says gently. Gray’s curled up with a pillow against his chest and his eyes squeezed shut. Natsu’s pretty sure he’s been crying.

“I have a headache,” Gray says without opening his eyes.

“Gray.” Natsu reaches out and brushes his fingers gently over the back of Gray’s forearm. “C’mon, love. You don’t have to pretend.”

Gray doesn’t reply, but he doesn’t pull away either. He sighs, pressing his face against the pillow.

“When was the last time you ate?” Natsu asks. Gray shrugs and Natsu slides his hand up Gray’s arm. It takes a second for Gray to relax his grip on the pillow enough to let Natsu slide their fingers together.

They lie in silence for a while, and eventually Gray shifts a tiny bit closer to Natsu. It’s almost imperceptible, but Natsu knows it’s Gray giving him permission.

“C’mere,” he says, reaching out and pulling Gray into his arms. He kisses Gray’s forehead as Gray lets out a shaky breath and relaxes against him.

Gray’s quiet for a bit, and eventually whispers, “why do you stay?”

Natsu swears he can feel his heart breaking. “Gray,” he whispers, pressing his face into Gray’s hair and holding him tight. “How can you even ask that?”

Gray sniffs, rubbing his face. “I just—you’re all better.” His voice breaks on the last word. “Sting’s sweet a-and Rogue’s smart and th-thoughtful, and you’re... you’re you. And I’m n-not, and I just—my brain is stupid and even when I take my meds it doesn’t always work and I’m grumpy and tired and—”

“Gray.” Natsu interrupts him gently, running his hand down Gray’s back. “I know you’re feeling shitty right now, and I know that sucks, but we all love you so, so much.”

“Why?” Gray asks, pain and frustration clear in his voice. “I don’t understand. I’m always gonna be like this and I hate it.”

“And that’s okay,” Natsu says, voice almost pleading. He pulls back and tips Gray’s chin up. “I’ve loved you for a long, long time and that’s never gonna stop. You’re a part of me, in here—” he takes Gray’s hand and places it on his chest “—and nothing can change that. Nothing.”

Gray’s face crumples and he sniffs as Natsu pulls him close again. “When I was teasing you in the car,” Natsu says, “that probably didn’t help if you’re feeling like this, hey?” Gray shakes his head and Natsu sighs. “I’m sorry.”

“’s not your fault,” Gray mumbles into Natsu’s shirt. “You’re right. I suck at feelings.”

Natsu’s about to argue, but he knows it’s futile. Gray’s always struggled with expressing himself, and telling him that it’s not true isn’t going to help. Instead, Natsu combs his fingers through Gray’s hair and asks, “did the song we were listening to make you feel sad?” Gray exhales and nods against Natsu’s chest. “And you shut it off because you don’t wanna let yourself feel sad.”

“I just…” Gray sighs in frustration, cuddling closer to Natsu. “It’s stupid.”

“I doubt that.”

“I do know all the words,” Gray admits. “I listened to that song a lot when we broke up.”

The statement takes Natsu by surprise. They’ve been together for so long – even before Sting and Rogue – that their temporary breakup feels like forever ago. They’d both been young and scared and overwhelmed by their feelings for each other, and it had taken nearly six months for them to drift back into each other’s orbit and stay there.

“I missed you so much,” Gray says quietly. “I thought—sometimes I worried that you left because I was too much. I know I left too, but I’d been…” He gestures vaguely at himself. “Like this, I guess, before it. And I felt like I’d ruined things.”

“Oh, love,” Natsu murmurs. “No, never. You were never too much. You’ll never be too much.”

“What if Rogue and Sting don’t feel that way?” Gray whispers. “What if they don’t wanna deal with me anymore?”

Natsu’s chest aches, and he’s tempted to call out for the other two so they can come and cuddle Gray and tell him he’s wrong; that they’re never going to leave. He’s not sure that’s what Gray needs right now, though.

“They love you,” he says instead. “Just like this, for who you are. Your brain works differently, and that’s not your fault, remember?” Gray huffs. “Think about Sting,” Natsu adds. “How many anxiety attacks has he had since we’ve known him? Since we’ve been together, even?”

“Lots,” Gray concedes.

“And are you tired of him?”

“Never.” Gray’s voice is so full of conviction, and Natsu can hear tears on the edge of it. “No, I’d never—I love him so much and it’s not his fault. He…” Gray trails off. “Oh.”

Natsu lets the realization sink in before he says, “you don’t have to pretend. You’re not a burden or broken, and you can always talk to us when you don’t feel right.”

Gray doesn’t say anything, just wraps his arm around Natsu’s waist. Natsu thinks back to the song they were listening to in the car and starts to hum it quietly. Gray tenses, but Natsu keeps playing with his hair until he relaxes again.

“I’ve got you,” Natsu murmurs. “It’s okay to not be okay.” 

* * *

They fall asleep not long after, tangled together and breathing in tandem. Natsu wakes at one point when Sting and Rogue come to bed, both kissing him before settling down on the other end of the bed to give him and Gray space.

When Natsu drags himself out of sleep the next morning, the first thing he notices is that Gray isn’t beside him anymore. Instead, Rogue’s curled up behind him with an arm thrown over his stomach. The second thing is that Sting is singing again, and it immediately brings a smile to Natsu’s face.

He cracks an eye open, hoping Sting won’t notice him, but Sting isn’t up and moving around like yesterday. He’s still lying on the bed, propped up on a pillow with Gray resting on his chest. Gray looks like he’s still half-asleep, but Sting’s holding his hand and is kissing Gray’s fingers between lines of the song. It’s the one that Gray had turned off yesterday in the car.

_You put up walls and paint them all a shade of grey_  
and I stood there loving you and wished them all away  
and you come away with a great little story  
of a mess of a dreamer with the nerve to adore you

Natsu reaches down and rests his hand over Rogue’s, smiling when Rogue stirs and presses a sleepy kiss to his shoulder. Sting looks up, cheeks turning pink when he realizes Natsu’s listening, but he doesn’t stop singing.

When the song’s over, Sting kisses Gray’s forehead and Gray makes a sleepy sound, snuggling closer to him. Natsu reaches out and runs his hand up Gray’s back.

“How’re you feeling?” he asks.

Gray looks like he’s about to pretend he’s fine, but instead he looks at Natsu and quietly replies, “still sad.”

Natsu shuffles forward with Rogue until all four of them are touching. Then he grabs Gray’s hand and squeezes.

“You can be sad if you need to be,” he says, resting his forehead on Gray’s shoulder, “and we’ll be right here with you while you feel that.”


End file.
